A Simple Equation To Connect Your Child To God - Part 2 : Knowing God
Last week we began a discussion surrounding every Jesus-loving parent’s question: How can I connect my child to God in a way that is real and true?
The answer in its simplest form looks something like this:
Knowing God + Understanding your Child + Everyday Discipleship = Connection to God
The sad truth is, most of us start our walk with God at least a little impaired by a warped vision of who God is. We long to pass along to our children a richer, truer understanding of God, but how?
When I gave my life to Jesus as a teenager, I knew next to nothing about God. Most of the information I did have came from touring countless cathedrals in Europe as I was growing up. Jesus was that agonized victim carved in stone, sheltered behind an alter that said, Achtung! Beruhen forboten!
Not exactly an inviting image of God.
Maybe your story is different, maybe God has seemed like a jolly-but-judgmental Santa, blessing you with niceness when you’re good, handing out lumps of coal when you’re naughty. Or like a benevolent grandfather, kind, but far away from your reality. Or worse: a harshly forbidding God who issues commands while expecting immediate obedience.
And you want more for your kids. So did we. In Raising Passionate Jesus Followers we tell you more:
“From the moment they are born, we talk about Him. We rock them to sleep with songs about Him, we pray in His name. We give them comfort to open their hearts to crave the comfort the Holy Spirit gives to those who remain in Him… Later, when they are a little older, we delve deeper into God’s word with the idea of unveiling Him to our children: who He is, how He thinks, what He loves. Not academics so much as Him— Jesus.”
“We want them to want Him, so we paint a compelling picture of who He is.”
This one post cannot hope to cover the vast topic of knowing God, but perhaps I can draw a rough map of a journey towards growing in our understanding of who He is. To do this I’ll answer two questions we get asked over and over.
1. How can I possibly know enough about God to “paint a compelling picture of who He is”?
The study of who God is, is called theology. A big, intimidating topic to most of us, but so vital, lest we pass on to our kids our own, made up (and often lopsided) view of God.
Instead of attempting an amateur’s overview of theology, I’ll unapologetically refer you to the best book I know on the topic: God Has A Name by our son, John Mark Comer.
Honestly, I learned more from reading his down-to-earth theology than all my credits at Bible college, combined with decades of expository Bible sermons.
This is a must read for every millennial-ish parent.
And if you want your parents tracking with you in this journey of connecting your kids to God, make sure they read it too! One complaint I keep hearing from young parents raised in Christian homes has to do more with a clash of vocabulary than actual disagreements over theology. In our rapidly changing, info-driven culture, words matter. And words have changed meaning faster in the last couple of decades than most of us can keep up with. John Mark is a stickler about words and theology, patiently bring your well-meaning parents along while letting them know how highly you value solid biblical teaching.
And while you’re reading, I’d prescribe a year-long read through the Bible as well. By doing this, you’ll get an overview of how God reveals Himself to His people in a progressively personal way.
The second question I hear over and over, especially from women, is:
2. How can I experience intimacy with God?
One short paragraph in our book touches on this topic:
“Paul said it this way: “That I may know Him.” (Philippians 3:10 NASB) The Greek work, ginosko, translated know, is a picture of intimacy, of deep trust and freedom in Him. For His friends in Ephesus, Paul prayed that they would experience the love of Christ. (Ephesians 3:19 NLT)”
To embark on this quest of knowing God experientially, I’d recommend reading Gary Thomas’ book, Sacred Pathways. In it, he explains why a formulaic approach to “devotions” doesn’t work.
How could it really? We now know so much about different personalities as well as different ways our brains our wired!
Gary Thomas takes that research and describes Naturalists, Sensates, Traditionalists, Ascetics, Activists, Caregivers, Enthusiasts, Contemplatives, and Intellectuals. Then he explains how we are all unique combinations of all of these ways of experiencing God.
For those who find themselves relating to the Contemplative category, my book, He Speaks In The Silence; finding intimacy with God by learning to listen, describes my own journey to experience God in a way I never had before.
Knowing God comes first, of course, so that we can be sure we’re correctly conveying to our children, “who He is, what He thinks, what He loves”. If you’re serious about this, follow the rough map outlined in this post, plus add a few ideas from others whose solid theology works itself out in real life.
Next week we’ll talk about understanding your child. Why is that so important? How can you figure your child out without putting him/her in a box? What resources might you turn to in order to understand why your child thinks and reacts so differently than you?
Then we’ll move on to everyday discipleship and how you can use daily life to connect your child with God in a way that works for each stage of development.
Why? Because, like the apostle Paul, we recognize that…
“God has given us the task of reconciling people to Him… this is the wonderful message He has given us to tell others.”
What greater joy than to be used by God to reconcile our children with the God who created them “fearfully and wonderfully”? That alone is reason to pursue knowing God rightly and experiencing Him intimately.
With joy for the journey,
Diane