Scene I

June 10th, 1980

I hold our firstborn, John Mark, in my arms just after he emerges from my womb. 

I am shaking and crying and smiling in the stunning wonder of this man-child I hold against my chest. Split open by the intensity of love leaking out of every pore of my being. 

As Phil leans over me, we spontaneously break out in joyful prayer, dedicating our son to the One who created him, running our hands over his skin, his long fingers, crystal blue eyes— every part of him captivates us. We pray— no, that’s too mild a word— we beg God to give us all the wisdom we need to bring this boy close in to His heart. To be his Redeemer. 

I spend the next few hours marveling— on the sort of high only mothers know. I am sure he’s the most beautiful baby ever, though looking back at baby pictures clearly tells a different story. His face is swollen, his nose plastered nearly flat in the process of his breach birth. 

All I see is that he is mine. I love him with a ferociousness I haven’t known before now.

Fast forward 2 years to the day. 

 

Scene II

June 10th, 1982

I waddle after John Mark, chasing him across the park, my pregnant belly slowing me down. 

“Come here! You come to mama RIGHT NOW! John Mark Comer COME!” 

He looks back at his awkwardly lumbering mama and erupts in hilarious laughter. Then turns and runs straight for the street. All the mothers— my friends here for John Mark’s 2nd birthday party— gasp in terror of what they see.

Up to this point my little boy’s defiance has only aggravated and embarrassed me, making my days excruciatingly long, robbing me of the wonder I once held in my arms. As he heads heedlessly towards the busy street, I know this— insisting on obedience— is the most important project I will take on. Ever. My son’s life hangs in the balance. 

In a startling flash I see that my little boy’s future depends on me making a really big deal about obedience.

And so does yours.

Every aspect of your son or daughter’s life— physical, emotional, social, relational, mental, and spiritual— depends on you choosing to invest the time and energy and inconvenience involved in making a big deal about obedience. 

Another mother rescued my wayward son that day. She grabbed him by the arm and held on tight as he wailed in frustration at being blocked from his dash towards the road. When I finally caught up with him, I swooped him into my arms heedless of his willful tears, thanking my friend for grabbing him, thanking God for giving me another chance. 

And here is what I learned…

The reason we must train our children to absolutely obey us is not because we are egomaniacs or dictators! Nor is it so we can show off our exemplary children like trophies. 

We train our children to absolutely obey us so that they will grow up with the inward strength to choose to obey God rather than their own impulses.

Every mom in that park held their children a little closer after that. And when I’d finally cleaned up the last of the birthday party debris and buckled my son safely into his car seat I couldn’t help but sigh in relief. 

Training, disciplining, and teaching, our children to obey us no-matter-what is the ultimate gift a loving mother and father can give. The kids who never learn to obey their parents have a really tough time all the way through adulthood.

• They endanger their lives. 
• They weaken their relationships. 
• They fall victim to their own unruly emotions
• They suffer rejection from friends
• They limit their opportunities for fulfillment and success

And worst of all, they grow up without the inherent strength to obey God.

It took a near tragedy for me to see it. But now— more than three decades later I see it so clearly: 

When you teach your child to obey you, you give him an increased capacity to obey God.

May you take hold of the Spirit’s promise of strength and wisdom to be faithful to do the work of developing in your child a heart of obedience.

With much love,

Diane

P.S. If you are having a hard time with this obedience training in your young child, leave your name and your child’s name in the comments so I can pray for you. Because really, isn’t this ultimately the work of the Father redeeming us to Himself? 

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